58 Mall Walker By Day, Writer By Night

Instigating versus antagonizing. That one regret we all have. Rationalizing a mindwipe. Econs. How to alienate everyone we know under the age of 18. Being a barren wasteland with nothing to offer. Motherfucking Jackie Gleason. The Streisand effect and the small mall that has two pretzel stands that may or may not be staffed by a skeleton crew. Cultural literacy. Inherent problems in determining the President of the Jews. Straddling the Millennial line. Ryan’s journey to the Planet of the Apes. And other award-winning courtroom adjacent dramas. The future people that are already judging you for liking Friends. Figuring out shit to talk about.

In this episode, the boys fail to design the optimal social experience.


33 Don’t Give Up Pope

During an especially cynical holiday season, the boys turn to the Vatican for answers and maybe, just maybe, a successor to Tony Stark.

0:22 – An agnostic and an atheist walk into a conversation about the Pope

2:50 – Some love for An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth

4:08 – Those dickbag atheists, you know the ones…

5:25 – Ryan secures his one way ticket to Hell

6:00 – Pope Francis: awesome or Hitler?

7:03 – The usury suspects

9:23 – Our first commandment is “be a good dude”

13:32 – Introducing the motorcycle-riding, kick-ass pope

15:42 – An aside about divine hats

16:55 – Bat-Pope for President

18:41 – The difference between income and wealth

23:00 – Not what a white Christmas means

23:51 – We’re sorry, Asian Spider-Man

25:00 – Hungry people are hungry, and other economic facts

25:16 – Cognitive dissonance: maybe good, maybe bad

26:58 – …Ryan brings up Rob Ford

28:34 – Where are all of the crack-smoking gentlemen?

30:16 – Jesus, Sherlock Holmes and Batman

31:59 – Initiate Vatican Party Protocol

32:56 – Seriously though, Joey doesn’t do drugs